ADVICE ON THE FEAR OF EMOTIONAL INTIMACY AND HOW TO MANAGE IT

 

Do you feel your relationship is like a battle ground where you are constantly having to defend against unjust comments, sneaky twists of your words used against you, and always having to prove your self and your righteousness?

Does it feel like a never ending war that you can't win, but that you can't give up either?

Then it's likely you are at war with yourself to try and be a person you are not!

When the pressure gets too much, you can't be the enemy and the besieged, so you give the enemy hat over to your partner –

Hey presto the relationship is full of tension, conflict and attempts to score points!

No hope of emotional intimacy.

No chance of understanding or support. Just stress and destruction of the bonds between you and your partner.

So watch this video and get some insight into how your war with yourself becomes a war with your partner that destroys emotional intimacy.

Then learn how you can get a handle on the conflicts you have raging inside you, and learn how to soothe your wounds.

 

 

 

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. 2015

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Disclaimer: this video is for informational and educative purposes only. Dr. Raymond is not responsible for any reactions you may have when reading the content or using the suggestions therein. Interacting with this material does not constitute a therapeutic relationship with Dr. Jeanette Raymond

TIPS ON THE FEAR OF EMOTIONAL INTIMACY AND HOW TO MANAGE IT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you trying to be the 'perfect partner'?

Do you have an image of what that should be and attempt to emulate it all the time?

If so, you are depriving you and your partner of the the connection and closeness that could be the cornerstone on which your relationship is founded.

When you are busy and engrossed with implementing your idea of the perfect partner, you are focused on an ideal and not on the reality of your relationship.

 

Trying to be the perfect partner kills emotional intimacy in 5 ways:

 

• You are not available to be with your partner emotionally since you are focused on and attending to a fantasy relationship in your head.
  

 

• You create a chasm between you and your partner because you don't get to know what they want, need or desire from you and the relationship.

 

• You treat the relationship as a business arrangement where you have to prove your worth by your actions, making any emotional connection impossible.

 

• You look for approval for your 'perfect' thoughts and deeds, turning the relationship into one where validation rather than emotional intimacy is the prime objective.
  

 

• You rob the relationship of equality by trying to be perfect and therefore superior – that ensures that emotional intimacy is dead in the water.
  

Three things you can do to get out of that perfection mode and have a real relationship:

 

You can be more grounded in reality when you bend and stretch with your partner, so you are in synch.

You can be available for your partner to just listen and comfort without trying to fix them

 

 

 

 

You can check in with each other regularly so that you are emotionally connected

 

AUTHOR OF 'Now You Want Me, Now You Don't! Fear of Intimacy: ten ways to recognize it and ten ways to manage it in your relationships."

 

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

 You might also like:

Your rule about love can make you feel unloved

Rules about the roles that partners should play stops relationships from getting to first base

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Disclaimer: this article is for informational and educative purposes only. Dr. Raymond is not responsible for any reactions you may have when reading the content or using the suggestions therein. Interacting with this material does not constitute a therapeutic relationship with Dr. Jeanette Raymond