"I couldn't put the book down! It was such a good read. Dr.Raymond is such an insightful therapist." Dr. Michelle Cohen, LA Talk Radio host of "On the Couch with Dr. Michelle."


"I enjoyed your book very much. I learned a lot about the challenges of emotional intimacy!" Sandy Weiner, host of LastFirstDate radio show!


The Characters Rick and Christy


Rick at the start of the book

Thirty-four-year old photographer married to Christy for four years

Has one infant son Joel that he adores and relates

Worried and scared that his marriage, like his parents’ is about to fail

Desperate to get close to his cold, busy wife who wants sex, but not emotional closeness


Rick before he got together with Christy

The perfect son to his divorced mother

A father figure to his younger sister Beth a precocious teenager

Frustrated and hurt that his mother blows hot and cold about having him be her everything

Graduates from high school, leaves home and sets up a business

Photography is his second passion after trying to be his mother’s savior

Longing to find the perfect woman who will want and value his ‘goodness’

Meets Christy, that perfect woman at  community college studying photography

Marries Christy only to have his bubble burst – she refuses to share herself.



Christy at the start of the book

Thirty-three-year-old librarian with an internet business selling home made knitted garments

Wants to be the perfect wife and mother

Tries hard to please Rick by being the a good caretaker and responsible parent


Christy before she met Rick

Eldest of two girls brought up by a self-absorbed mother and a father who wanted Christy as a companion when his wife was unavailable, but abandoned her when his martial relationship was good.

Lonely and neglected as a child, she tries not to need her parents love

She uses sexual pleasure as a substitute for parental love and care

Leaves home and travels in Europe with her employers and has several sexual adventures but returns home emotionally empty

Takes a job in a library, goes to college to get her library credentials

Meets Rick who is the man of her dreams – attentive, caring, reliable and available.

Marries Rick but finds out that he wants more of her than she is willing to give.




Listen to Dr. Raymond Talk About The Mistakes Men Make  On the Todd Newton Show

Discussion with Dr Michelle about what men want and what women want in relationships

Interview on the Steven Knight Show about how love and connection gets lost in relationships and how to get it back ( scroll to 50 minutes)




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