• buy the book



    "I couldn't put the book down! It was such a good read. Dr.Raymond is such an insightful therapist." Dr. Michelle Cohen, LA Talk Radio host of "On the Couch with Dr. Michelle."

    Listen to my interview with Dr. Michelle here:



    Available here


    Dr. Jeanette Raymond is a top relationship expert, as quoted by Women's Day


    Listen here to Dr. Raymond discuss the mistakes men make when trying to get close to their female partners on the Todd Newton Show

    Discover the signs of fear in your loved ones that make them reject your overtures when you want to get emotionally close



    "Difficult subject but fascinating read. I gave this book 4 stars because though I was dismayed at times by the subject matter, I was riveted by the real life story playing out in my hands. Dr. Raymond takes us through a case study where we hear from both sides of a couple going through marital issues and counseling. I thought that was an excellent way to illustrate the 10 steps Dr. Raymond introduced. The information contained is raw, gritty, and I became emotionally involved in the outcome of the couple's relationship. Is it all sweetness and light? heck no, but it is fascinating."  Janet Kinsela reviewer


    Tune in below to hear me on the Health, Wealth and Wisdom Show about the differences between men in women in how they conduct relationships ( scroll to 28 minutes)


    Listen here to Dr. Raymond talk about how great love affairs turn sour when couples are in their 30's on the Steven Knight show ( scroll to 50 minutes)


    "I really liked this book from the very start. Mostly, because it’s different from any other marriage/self-help book I’ve read thus far… in that, the book takes you through an actual case-study of a couple… where each chapter switches focus between the husband and the wife. This book had me captivated and really focused up until the end. Most self-help books get boring, but this one didn’t."   J. Dixon, reviewer



    Listen below to Dr. Raymond talk about how early childhood experiences create a fear of neediness and intimacy and how to loosen up



    "I found this book amazing! It was enjoyable and well-written, informative and helpful. I read this book for personal reasons and I'm so glad that I did! Shanice Singh (Reviewer) Definitely recommend for a friend and buy it myself."


    "I enjoyed your book very much. I learned a lot about the challenges of emotional intimacy!" Sandy Weiner, host of LastFirstDate radio show!

    Tune into my interview with Sandy Weiner about how dating problems can be alleviated when you start with good emotional intimacy

    "Dr. Raymond's book is very touching. I laughed and cried with Rick and Christy. Having experienced therapy myself, I know how painful and terrifying it can be to relive hurtful childhood experiences that have been buried for years. I also understand the shame of acting out as an adult due to burying those feelings instead of bringing them out into the light to be understood and processed with someone who provides emotional safety and security. If you are looking for a book on psychology, relationships, working through childhood feelings, this is the book. I say that because out of all the books I've read on the topic, this one touched me the deepest. You will come away with a better understanding of how relationships work and possibly a better understanding of yourself by joining Rick in his sessions with Dr. Raymond."  D.L.

    Men seek emotional closeness more than women!

    Researchers at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public health found that adolescent boys want emotional closeness and trust with their partners, and not just sex. Yet many young men don’t know how to achieve emotional intimacy and often make serious mistakes in their romantic relationships. 

     In her new book Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t! Fear of Intimacy: Ten ways to recognize it and ten ways to manage it in your relationship, Los Angeles psychologist Dr. Jeannette Raymond, a relationship expert, exposes the secret that 9 out of 10 calls to the therapist’s office come from men who crave emotional connection with their partners, reinforcing the research findings. But she goes one step further. She offers a message of hope and a 10-point program to those men who want meaningful relationships but end up getting pushed away and ridiculed.


    The book tells the story of Rick and Christy’s stormy relationship, tracking their lives from childhood before they come together, then taking us into Rick’s private sessions with Dr. Raymond after Christy storm out of the office, refusing counseling. But Rick persists, trying desperately to break through Christy’s impenetrable emotional wall that blocks him at every turn.


    As Rick recounts his everyday frustrations, he learns the many subtle ways in which Christy keeps him at bay because she’s terrified of emotional intimacy. But for each way she blocks him, Dr. Raymond gives Rick a simple strategy that enables Christy to let her guard down so that he can work his way into her emotional space. Elated when he connects with his wife and heartbroken when she pushes him away, Rick persists with Dr. Raymond’s 10-point plan, determined not to give up on his marriage like his parents did, causing their union to end in divorce.


    Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t! Offers those like Rick, who crave closeness but can’t get it, and those like Christy who long for emotional intimacy but are too afraid to allow it, 10 proven methods that melt the walls of fear and anger that block emotional intimacy. Couples struggling to ease the tension that produces lonely chasms between them can use this handbook of winning strategies that Dr. Raymond shared with Rick to make their romantic relationship more equal, intimate and harmonious.

    Five Ways that guarantee Emotional Intimacy When Romance Fails



    Take the intimacy Quiz and find out your style of relating to your partner

    Learn how to develop and enjoy healthy emotional intimacy in these videos


    How to feel wanted instead of rejected

    How to turn nagging into loving connections

    How to act when your partner has lost interest in you

    How to get affection on your schedule


    Visit my profile on YourTango Experts





    One Comment

    1. Regina says:

      Thanks a million for writing this book. To my knowledge, it is the best book on the market on this subject. No other book I have read gives you an inside into the dynamics both partners apply in a relationship where commitment fear is at play. Anyone in such a relationship knows about the trauma, pain and hopelessness. This book showed me where I go wrong and what I do to trigger my partner’s behaviour. It gave me a real inside in what my partner feels in moments when everything escalates and how I contribute to it. It also gave me extremely good guidance what I can do to break this unhealthy cycle. What I liked most is that this book does not stigmatise people with this problem and it does not tell you to leave your partner – like most books on this subject do. The experience of Dr Raymond really shows – this book was written to help you; and that is exactly what it di for me. I am so glad this book exists.

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