Excerpts – Now You Want Me, Now You Don't!

Three Ways To Avoid Blowing it With The Partner of Your Dreams

nowyouwantmenowyoudont book on fear of intimacy

Regret of Losing A Chance at Having A Good Partner

You never thought it would happen!

You had given up hope that you would find the right person, that perfect match – so that you could relax, feel safe, secure and settled.

BUT IT DID!

Now you are terrified because it’s real and in your face!

You like the sense of knowing that you have got what you wanted and everything feels good.

Yet you want space – you want to go really slow – you want to have long intervals between your dates.

It’s almost as if you want to wait and see if this ideal person is going to put a foot wrong.

Then you fear that if you pull back you will lose this chance. You are terrified of blowing the best thing that ever happened to you.

WATCH THIS VIDEO and learn 3 ways in which you can have the good stuff and keep your fear of emotional intimacy calmed.

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Two Ways to Enhance Emotional Intimacy By Sharing Anxieties

Thirty-four-year-old Justine loved her job as an EMT service person with her local Fire Department. She enjoyed the excitement of rushing to save people in car accidents or from overdosing alone at home. But when it came time to go home and be a wife and mother, she got anxious and stressed.

Would her two year old daughter Tricia run to her or be upset that her mom had been away so long and cling to the nanny instead? Could she trust her thirty-seven-year-old husband Andre, a policeman to remember to bring home the pet food for their three dogs? Was he going to take the dogs for a walk tonight so she could have some quality time with Tricia?

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Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t! Excerpt -Introduction

Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t! Fear of Intimacy: Ten ways to recognize it and ten ways to manage it in your relationship. Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. 2014 "I couldn't put the book down! It was such a good read. Dr.Raymond is such an insightful therapist." Dr. Michelle Cohen, LA Talk Radio host

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Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t! Excerpt -Chapter 5 – Sign One

(middle of therapy session)
“I try to be affectionate and caring when I see how overloaded she is, but she pushes me aside,” he said with quivering lips.
“When Christy grabs you in bed, it’s as if she’s only interested in taking care of her needs, not yours!”Unknown Object
“Yes! Why should I have to wait for her to be in the mood and then be there just at the moment she wants me?”
“You got back at her by taking charge of the sex between you.”
“I was tired of being at the mercy of her whims,” he snarled.
“Hold onto that feeling, and let’s put Christy back into the picture. She was subject of her father’s whims when she was a child. One minute she was his angel and the next he’d ignore her,” I pointed out. “She couldn’t trust her father to be consistent, and now she can’t trust you to be reliable either.”

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Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t, Excerpt from Chapter 20 – SIGN SIX

(Middle of a therapy session)
“Do you remember the thrill you felt when you first saw her?”
“Yes, it hit me like a ton of bricks – l was drawn to her like a magnet!” he said in surprise.Unknown Object
“You sensed the excitement she offered. She wasn’t going to be saintly and boring, but give you a run for your money, just like your mother!”
“You mean I was attracted to her because she was like my mother?”
“Your unconscious recognized the similarity and it attracted you. But this time, it was even more thrilling because you had the power to make her respond the way you want, something you didn’t have as a child.” I offered.

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Now You Want Me, Now You Dont! Excerpt -Chapter 26 – SIGN EIGHT

(middle of therapy session)
“It sounds like you doubted Christy’s commitment to you and Joe.”
“I went back and forth. When she cuddled me the night before she left I was over the moon. But then when she let go of me so suddenly I was decimated. It was like she gave me a life-line and pulled it back just as I was about to use it.”
“What does that bring up for you?”Unknown Object
“Well, I didn’t know how my mother was going to be with me most of the time,”
“Can you see any connection between your confusion as a child and your confusion with Christy?”
“I just want to know what I’m dealing with, so I stick with whatever I’m feeling at the time, and go with that,” he said, whispering.

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