Twenty-one Ways Your Partner Declines To Be Emotionally Intimate
ADVICE ON THE FEAR OF EMOTIONAL INTIMACY AND HOW TO MANAGE IT
DURING AN INTERACTION YOU MIGHT NOTICE YOURSELF GETTING IRRITATED.
You may find yourself trying harder to get noticed and actually have a dialogue.
You may find yourself getting very frustrated, feeling invisible and then just giving up.
IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOUR PARTNER IS PUTTING UP A WALL SO YOU CANNOT CONNECT IN AN EMOTIONALLY INTIMATE WAY.
HERE ARE THE 21 ways your partner will deflect you.
Your partner will:
1. Change the subject
2. Won't respond to what you have said, just talk on…………..
3. Will not pause between topics, just run on
4. Talk over you
5. Talk at you
6. Say ‘you’ not ‘I’
7. Cut you off before you finish saying what you feel in relation to them
8. Begin a response to you by saying, “no…”
9. Take the opposing point of view (you are sympathetic, they are critical of the same issue)
10. Divert you from the point you are trying to make
11. Say “I know what you are going to say.’’
12. Use ‘explanations’ as a distraction from the emotional connection
13. Look away while you are talking
14. Avoid eye contact when they are talking
15. Play with hands, hair, nails, clothing, phone
16. Brush off compliments and praise
17. Breathe heavily and sigh when it’s your turn to talk
18. Pretend to listen or make room for you, but not taking any notice of your information
19. Say "yes" to things robotically without even listening to what you asked or said
20. Get busy with an activity while interacting with you
21. Finish your sentence before you
So what can you do with your irritation and frustration?
- Be open about your frustration by using "I" words, so your partner doesn't put the wall up even higher.
- Be clear in your words that you want to connect and you feel blocked.
- Tell them you feel blocked or pushed away each time it happens.
- Ask your partner what they feel uncomfortable about to open up the channels of communication.
Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. 2015
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Disclaimer: this article is for informational and educative purposes only. Dr. Raymond is not responsible for any reactions you may have when reading the content or using the suggestions therein. Interacting with this material does not constitute a therapeutic relationship with Dr. Jeanette Raymond
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