Now You Want Me, Now You Don't! Excerpt -Chapter 5 - Sign One

Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t! Excerpt -Chapter 5 – Sign One

July 22nd, 2014 Comments Off
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Fear of Intimacy: Ten ways to recognize it and ten ways to manage it in your relationship.

"I couldn't put the book down! It was such a good read. Dr.Raymond is such an insightful therapist." Dr. Michelle Cohen, LA Talk Radio host of "On the Couch with Dr. Michelle."

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Excerpt from Chapter 5: Fear of Intimacy Sign One –Getting Busy
Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. 2014
(middle of therapy session)
“I try to be affectionate and caring when I see how overloaded she is, but she pushes me aside,” he said with quivering lips.
“When Christy grabs you in bed, it’s as if she’s only interested in taking care of her needs, not yours!”
“Yes! Why should I have to wait for her to be in the mood and then be there just at the moment she wants me?”
“You got back at her by taking charge of the sex between you.”
“I was tired of being at the mercy of her whims,” he snarled.
“Hold onto that feeling, and let’s put Christy back into the picture. She was subject of her father’s whims when she was a child. One minute she was his angel and the next he’d ignore her,” I pointed out. “She couldn’t trust her father to be consistent, and now she can’t trust you to be reliable either.”
“I understand that she didn’t have the best childhood,” Rick said, sitting forward. But why do I get attacked just for trying to be on her radar.” 
“Right now she isn’t sure your understanding or sympathy is real or lasting. She needs her jobs to act as a shield between the two of you, so she doesn’t get seduced by your kindness,” I continued.
“That sounds fucked up!” he said contemptuously.
“I wonder how you felt when your dad lied about where he was and who he was with? Did you trust him after that even though he seemed loving and sincere?”
“No, of course not!” he yelled.
“Right, well Christy is in the same place you were in. She doesn’t trust that family members are what they seem to be on a consistent basis – and you are now family.”
Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. 2014
All rights reserved.
No part of this excerpt may be reproduced in any form whatever.

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