Now You Want Me, Now You Dont! Excerpt -Chapter 26 - SIGN EIGHT

Now You Want Me, Now You Dont! Excerpt -Chapter 26 – SIGN EIGHT

July 21st, 2014 Comments Off
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Fear of Intimacy: Ten ways to recognize it and ten ways to manage it in your relationship.

"I couldn't put the book down! It was such a good read. Dr.Raymond is such an insightful therapist." Dr. Michelle Cohen, LA Talk Radio host of "On the Couch with Dr. Michelle."

"I enjoyed your book very much. I learned a lot about the challenges of emotional intimacy!" Sandy Weiner, host of LastFirstDate radio show!

Excerpt from Chapter 26: Fear of Intimacy Sign eight –getting heartburn when your partner misses you
Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. 2014
(middle of therapy session)
“It sounds like you doubted Christy’s commitment to you and Joe.”
“I went back and forth. When she cuddled me the night before she left I was over the moon. But then when she let go of me so suddenly I was decimated. It was like she gave me a life-line and pulled it back just as I was about to use it.”
“What does that bring up for you?”
 “Well, I didn’t know how my mother was going to be with me most of the time,”
 “Can you see any connection between your confusion as a child and your confusion with Christy?”
“I just want to know what I’m dealing with, so I stick with whatever I’m feeling at the time, and go with that,” he said, whispering.
“When your mother let you down by going out with Beth and others she felt like an angel who had turned into a devil. You distanced yourself from her and in effect orphaned yourself. Now you are in danger of losing Christy if you continue down this path.”
Rick lifted his head up, straightened his back, looked me right in the eye and said, “I saw Christy as a loving wife when she went away, and when she came back- so I wasn’t the one turning her into a monster. She made me feel like a monster just because I missed her so much!” he said indignantly.
“Perhaps you didn’t change your view of her. But you left an important piece out – what do you think that was?” I asked, nudging him along.
“I have no idea!” he snorted at me.
“Remember how you felt when you walked into session today? You were so wrapped up in your big emotions that you left me out of the picture.”
“So I did the same to Christy!” he exclaimed.
“When she came through the door you were only in touch with your good feelings about your loving wife returning. You didn’t pause to check where she was at, and then find a place where your emotions could meet hers.”
Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. 2014
All rights reserved.
No part of this excerpt may be reproduced in any form whatever.

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